Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

Well, my name’s not Mary and frankly I’m not sure any of my new plants will survive.

But if WANTING to be a pro-gardener counts for anything my new veges will FLOURISH!

I mean, my “I Want a Garden” board on Pinterest should be a testament to the green thumb I dream of having.

Although, I’m pretty sure I could kill a succulent and those things never die!

The idea of our garden was born out of a little bean plant Deet brought home from school. He had been writing in a garden journal, documenting this little sprout. And now his teacher would like me to plant it at home and have my child continue to journal about it’s growth stages.

Crap!

I envision his final journal entry to be, “My plant is dead. My mom sucks at this.”

But then I started thinking (or rather, Pinterest starting yelling at me) about how awesome a vege garden would be. I mean, if this little bean plant is going to thrive he’ll need some friends.

Do you know how expensive gardening can be?! I mean, geez! Especially for a newbie! So I started looking around our side yard for things I could recycle. We have a rickety old plant stand that I’m sure is termite ridden, various “pots” made from plastic and clay, and some rusty shovels. Right…this should work out famously.

The biggest expense was going to the soil and the plants. Soil because I need to plant everything in a pot and plants because #1. I didn’t plan this well and now it’s too late to start seeds and #2. Seeds? Really? I can barely tend to my kids. Seeds require way too much time and care in order for them to thrive. No…plants it shall be.

So I went to a very nice nursery in Huntington Beach. I say this like I know the difference between a nice nursery and one that has disease ridden plants (which I don’t) but they had everything I needed and their plants didn’t look yellow. I decided to attempt growing tomatoes, cucumbers, red peppers, zucchini, lettuce, and basil. Add in the little bean plant and we’ve got quite a spread! Also, Cheek picked out a little flower plant to add a pop of color. I also purchased two cages (for the tomatoes and the peppers). I got out of there for $22.

Then it was off to Lowe’s for soil. I left there with 3 bags of potting soil, a bag of manure, a bag of top soil, and a bag of mulch for $20.

I get home and find out that if I’m container gardening I’m going to need a trellis for the cucumbers and zucchini and that I don’t have a big enough container for the zucchini.

Damn it.

So my husband decides we can build our own trellis from bamboo stakes that he finds at Lowe’s (6-6″ stakes for $3, we got two bags) and that we can hold it together with zip ties. Yeah, ghetto. But cheap!

And we splurge on a black plastic tub for the zucchini, 9 bucks.

So now we’re in for $57 and some change. I’m pretty sure I can buy a plethora of these veges on sale at Sprouts for less dough. But, God-willing, I’ll be able to reuse this container, the cages, and the ghetto-fied trellis for years to come.

Then comes planting day. I realize I have no gardening gloves and with rusty shovels I should probably protect myself. So I dig out a pair of those yellow gloves you use (because I don’t) for washing dishes.

Perfect.

The kids are fired up for planting and my initial thought is “there is no way you are touching these plants, do you know how much they cost!?”. But I take a few cleansing breaths and remind myself that this is for their experience as well. Plus, with the home school situation this has got to be educational, right?

First step is mixing the soils. Hmmm…what to mix it in? Right, that plastic cooler that split down the side. That’ll work!

Soil is mixed, we’re ready to go. So we work diligently, I only yell a few times, and an hour later we have a beauty of a garden. I’m pretty sure they, meaning experienced gardeners, would call this a patio garden. But after looking at our pieced together planter situation, the zip-tied trellis, the cinder block wall as the backdrop, and tapping into my Long Beach roots, I declare this our “Ghetto Garden”.

It doesn’t help that my husband suggests dragging over an old couch so that we can sit outside and have coffee in the morning while watering.

Ghet-to.

The little sprout that started it all.

Thank you to Crocs for sponsoring this blog post. Please click HERE to learn more about Crocs’ new Back to School line. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own.

I know what your thinking! “What do you need to Back to School shop for, aren’t you home schooling?! Don’t you just lounge in your jammies all day?!”

And the answer is, smarty pants, yes and no. We’re in our pj’s only half of the day.

The kids are still taking classes outside of the home and, while they’re comfy, jammies are not socially acceptable attire.

Back to School shopping is always tricky in Southern California because, without fail, the end of summer is marked by a heat wave and the stores are chock full o’ sweaters, jeans, and boots. Blech. I’m sweating just thinking about it! Plus, all of the summer clothes have been picked over, marked down, and all I can really find are clothes I would never dream of buying for my kids.

Because of this, our favorite thing to shop for are new shoes. The kids have been living in flip flops. This, unfortunately, is also not acceptable in schools. Turns out the slap-happy footwear is not approved at school. Something about dismembering toes or bleeding heels…what-ev!

Side note….remember when we called them ‘thongs’? I can’t even bring myself to say that anymore without the disturbing image of one of my fellow mommies bending over in her too-low jeans exposing more than anyone in the general public needs to see invading my brain. So ‘flip flops’ they are.

Anyhoo, jeans and sweaters will have to wait until the weather actually dips in temp. Should be in November when the stores start stocking Spring fashions and all of the fall/winter clothes are on clearance. Yippee!

Shoe shopping it will be! Deet especially needs them. They need to be lightweight, comfortable, and school-approved.

Enter Crocs’ new Back to School line.

I know, you think Crocs are like summer time Uggs. Yeah, they might be comfy but, meh, not so cute. Au contraire , mon frere!

Check these out!

Stinkin’ cute, right?

They have 13 new styles for boys and girls in grades K-8.  They are school-approved on the outside because of the closed toe and heel but the best part, in my opinion, is that they have the same comfort on the inside. You can check them out HERE and while you’re there you should enter the sweepstakes for a family trip to San Diego! Keep summer alive! (no purchase necessary, of course).

I’m not one to promote something I’ve never tried out so Deet and I went shopping today to check them out in person. He tried on the Hover style in slip on and lace up. Both have canvas uppers. We were partial to the slip ons. The best thing about these shoes are what you can’t see. The insoles. They are made of the signature Croslite material that is especially wonderful for stinky boy feet.

For those of you that like a little interaction, check out the video at the below. You can click on the shoes at any time and it will take you directly to the Crocs site for the individual shoe. Also, there is a hidden gem in the video. Click on it and see what happens! (I promise, it will be worth it! (Hint, hint). Here’s a little clue for you:

Yesterday was Deet’s first day of Kindergarten, home-school style.

He will be attending a charter school learning center twice a week but that doesn’t start until next week. So this week is all on me.

The last two days have been full of CLUNKS.

A “clunk” is the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.

Just in case you needed a visual.

Let me preface this by saying I didn’t know my son as well as I thought. You know, when you have three kids you’re so worried about having enough love for all of them (which you totally do) that you forget about making time for all of them. And by “time” I mean one-on-one, get-to-know-you time. The baby and the teenager demand it and so, middle child has been lacking it. That’s the Reader’s Digest version, I’m sure I’ll be doing another post on how I’ve damaged my middle child for life.

Worst. Mom. Ever.

So when picking out curriculum I told his teacher, “We really need practice writing because he hates it and still can’t write his name.” We did a phonics computer game yesterday and he gets up, grabs a pad of paper and some crayons, comes over to me and says, “I’m going to write all of the letters I know.”. He proceeds to write the entire alphabet. Then his name.

CLUNK.

He randomly says, let’s think of words that start with “M”. OK….I say milk. He says metamorphosis. I had to use spell check just to type the damn word.

CLUNK.

I ask, “Do you even know what metamorphosis means?”. He says, “Sure I do! It’s like when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly!”.

CLUNK.

Today we do a math program online called Baseball Math. The kid answers basic addition and subtraction problems using numbers 1-10. When they get one right the program decides if they get a single, double, etc. If they get it wrong it’s recorded as an “Out”. When he got tired of doing it I checked the score box. 21 runs, 0 outs.

CLUNK.

Did I mention he can read?

CLUNK.

While I am THRILLED at the level of intelligence he is displaying I am ashamed to say I have had NO part in getting him there. Do you know what has? T.V. I’m not joking. More specifically channels like PBS and Qubo (since we don’t have cable). He also loves to watch old episodes of Blue’s Clues and Backyardigans on Netflix.

My only saving grace is that from this moment on I plan to have EVERY part in nurturing and growing that intelligence while really getting to know my little caterpillar before he turns into a butterfly and flies away.

I think I’m in the middle of my own metam…..(whatever). You know what I mean.

I gotta admit, last week I was feeling pretty full of myself. Walking around the house feeling all in control and sure that this home school thing was a cake walk.

Thinking to myself, “Why doesn’t EVERYONE do this?”.

Then I had meetings with both of my kids’ assigned teachers. They discussed curriculum, standards, attendance, and I’m sure there was more but my eyes started to glaze over and my right eye began to twitch.

It set in.

FEAR.

(did you hear the crack of lightning and scary laughter a-la Vincent Price?!)

And pressure.  I went into full freak out mode, going into mental overdrive.  Because if I’m taking my kids out of public school (or not even starting them in it as with Deet) I better damn well do my very best to give them the most excellent education I can provide. I want it to be fun and engaging, rich and full of flavor. I want them to get a complete education; no gaps. I want it to be everything that public school can’t be because of loss of funding and “teaching to the test”. This is, after all, why I chose this path.

With this comes an overwhelming sense of responsibility. And fear. Because, what if I fail? What if my kids end up hating me? (wait, that’s already a possibility). What if I end up hating them? Am I smart enough? Am I pretty enough?  Hold on…I’ve just tapped into some old teen-aged worries.

Finally, after days of mental anguish, my inner voice kicked in and yelled, “Breathe, girlfriend, BREATHE! And relax!”.

And after the panic passed I sat down and started some research. Because the internet is my friend…usually. Except for when it randomly shouts at me to “Look at these boobs!” or “Satisfy your woman!”.  But in times of self doubt and thirst for knowledge I can count on the internet for immediate answers. Kind of like when you have this crazy pain in your elbow-pit and you can’t figure it out so you decide to scour Web-MD to find out what ails you because you’re pretty sure you have Lyme disease and then you find out that, no, your fears are unfounded and it’s probably a sore muscle from carrying in all 30 bags of groceries from the car because you didn’t want to make multiple trips. Thank you internet! You just saved me a $40 co-pay and an insane amount of embarrassment!

What I found was a crazy amount of support. There are so many resources out there to help calm the nerves of the new home school parent. Blogs and forums for answers to every imaginable question and a ton of free websites for students to use. One small  example is this website I found called Quizlet. It allows students to create sets of online flashcards or search their database for sets. Then the student can use the flashcards to quiz themselves, play games, etc. It doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, I’m sure, but what a resource! For one it eliminates any need to purchase all of those pesky cards! And then what to do with them when you’re done? Coffee coasters? Kindling? Book marks? Using the corner to pick that stubborn piece of salad out of your teeth? Meh, just toss them…sorry trees!

So, to recap my crazy rant: was cocky, got beat with the reality stick, freaked, took a chill pill, the internet redeemed itself for being a porn-pusher, and now I’m (mostly) organized thanks to the many people who have paved the way for us homeschooling newbies.

Thursday was Cheek’s first day of 8th grade. At home. If she thought she was going to avoid the embarrassing first day of school photo in front of the house, she was wrong.

The first thing she said when she emerged from her bedroom (aka “the black hole”) was, “I’m totally breaking dress code!”. She was so thrilled to wear a tank top, open toed shoes, and makeup on her first day of school.

I was thrilled to still be wearing my pajamas.

The first two days of the homeschool experiment went fairly smooth. We’re really just trying to decompress. I mean, when you’ve been in a box for 8 years and you’re suddenly set free it can be a little overwhelming. “So many choices!!!”. “So much we can do!!!”. “Let’s do it all!!!”. And then the fear sets in and you contemplate crawling back in the box. Not because it’s better for you but because it’s familiar. Think convicts that commit another crime just to go back to jail. We still have to adhere to our state’s standards but there are a plethora of choices for us to accomplish this; it can be a little intimidating. We are very fortunate to have amazing teachers that have been so helpful in choosing curriculum based on the learning styles of both Cheek and Deet.

Side note, Deet hasn’t started school yet. His first day will be in September. This adds to the chaos because half of me is on summer-time-party-time and the other half is on schedule-setting-planning-time.

So our first order of business was to set a schedule for Cheek. Here’s what it looks like right now:

8:45-9:00am: Tidy up the classroom (aka “the black hole”). Trying to make the “classroom” have a Zen feel cannot be accomplished with dirty laundry (or is it clean?!) strewn across the floor.

9am-12pm: School work. Subjects consist of Algebra, Literature, U.S. History, Science, and Spanish 1.

12pm-1pm: Lunch and a break.

1pm-2pm: School work.

Done.

No homework.

No struggle.

Freedom.

We just put the box out with our recycling.