It was one of those grocery shopping trips.

Just me and the baby. He sat contently, spreading gooey sunshine via teething smiles through the store.  Chatting away in a language that resembles Vietnamese. Strangers tilted their heads and smiled and I just knew they were thinking, “Now THAT is the cutest darn kid in the world!”.

I was strutting my stuff, full of pride over my nutritious selections that filled my cart. Whole-grain goldfish instead of those “regular” ones. Gogurts that I still pass off as popsicles to my 5 year old. Lucky Charms that are “NOW with more fiber!”.

Then it happened. Like Christmas in July I spotted those fluffy, pure white goodies. All snug in that bag looking so comfy and delicious. Hostess powdered mini donuts. I toss a pack in the cart. One from the back of the display. Because those are fresher. And I’m all about fresh. I eye the big bag that is on sale…oh no no no. That would be glutinous.

I finish and load up the conveyor belt. The checker asks every-so-politely if I’d like that little pack of pleasure for my purse.

Um.

NO.

Because THAT would imply that I intend to scarf these down the instant I leave this store.  And someone with my obvious nutritional values would never do such a thing.

Instead I take note of which bag he just put them in. With the bananas. Good call sir.

Out the door we go, just me and my cherub, full of anticipation.

At the car I unload and, like a ninja, slip those donuts into my purse without any passersby noticing.

Because I DO intend to devour those  perfect, soft dinghies of delightfulness right here in my car. Why? Because I have 2 children at home that I need to hide these from. The baby in the back? He’s young and still distracted by shiny things that make lots of noise.

So he plays with some fake keys while I sit ever so carefully eating the powdered goodness, listening to Richard Blade on the New Wave station, and remembering a time when I could consume an entire box of these bad boys and never worry about what my behind would look like the next morning.

Yeah, it was a good grocery shopping trip.